


9 to 5 Ft. An AI

by Flynn_Voltage_Taggart



Series: It Still Pays More Than The UNSC [2]
Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Freeguy117 apartment au more specifically, Modern timeline au, a very very loose understanding of how Cortana connects to the brain, some minor original characters are in here as well but only one of them matters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-15
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-13 12:09:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28778067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flynn_Voltage_Taggart/pseuds/Flynn_Voltage_Taggart
Summary: John has high hopes about bringing Cortana along to his first dayshift at a job used to scout out civilian behavior in this new timeline.
Relationships: Cortana/John-117 | Master Chief
Series: It Still Pays More Than The UNSC [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2109897
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	9 to 5 Ft. An AI

**Author's Note:**

> I would heavily reccomend checking out the first part of this series for more context.

Master Chief Spartan 117 was actually excited for his shift at McDonald's.

If you had told him this same exact sentiment a year ago, well, he would have still be snuggly dozing in a cryotube, but if he had been awake, ....well, he probably still would have questioned what you were trying to convey as even a vast empire like McDonald's did not survive into the cold vacuum of Covenant-controlled space. 

The point was that the Master Chief, or John as his shiny plastic name tag announced, finally had reason to try to greet new customers with a smile today.

One of the main changes that prompted his more chipper attitude was after a month of working intermittent graveyard shifts, which seemed to be more just guarding the cash register than actual good-spirited grease jockeying fun, he was getting to work a regular daytime shift. He wondered if it was a reward for his hard work or a matter of understaffing and high-turnover. Either way, it put him at ease to not spend his shift examining shadows and flinching at the screech of tires outside.

The other reason for his newfound zest for his work was the position he had been assigned at drive-thru. The assignment on the surface might seem mundane if not down right annoying with all the mumbling and people who acted like the world's most rudimentary com channel was rocket science, but it allowed him a very unique opportunity. It meant for once he wouldn't be all alone on his shift. It meant that he could take Cortana to work with him.

John was honestly surprised at her approval of his plan seeing as she seemed offended any time he mentioned her borrowing a kiosk or a cash register or the ice cream machine. Perhaps it was because the flimsy headpiece that vaguely resembled an early gaming headset was the closest thing to his trusty helmet that she could safely inhabit. Perhaps it was because she was less worried about being absconded with, as if the Cole Protocol could trail her all the way out to a fast food chain in the middle of nowhere in a timeline that was years behind any worries about AI data mining procedures. Perhaps she was trying to save him the embarrassment of facing his first real shift customer relations alone. Even if it was the later, he was more than ecstatic to have her lingering in that cold, fuzzy space between technological command and his neural network.

Of course, Cortana's previous reservations might not have been completely misplaced. Taking her out always ran some risks. There was the obvious concern of losing her again, but civilian life introduced some other challenges. It was not exactly wise to wander the city streets muttering and laughing seemingly to yourself, especially not when he already got enough odd looks between his height, his demeanor, and his choice of company. Plus, there were new concerns about employee guidelines in an environment like this.. Talking to an AI like Cortana couldn't be counted as taking a personal call, could it?

He shook his head as if the act would shake the thought loose from his head. This was going to be good for him. He truly believed that today. 

This was really going to be good for him.

Giddy wasn't a word he would usually use for himself, but the sneakiness of bringing Cortana in and the feeling of actual sunlight instead of overhead fluorescents on his skin had him genuinely fighting back a smile as to not arouse suspicion from his new coworkers.

Or well, new coworker. It was a Tuesday afternoon after lunch rush. It's almost as if upper management was a bit worried about giving John a task around their "esteemed clientele".

New coworker was also a stretch seeing as he recognized the kid working behind the register. Hus name was something like Josh or Joshie....at least from what he overheard from the kid's phone calls waiting to get picked up after a shift change. Nice enough kid if not a bit too tightly wound for working the front counter so much. He could probably use a hairnet for that mop of bronze ringlets, but then again, it wasn't like you bought a carton of french fries for a buck and expected the highest taste or quality or lack of hair. 

John was just glad the kid was here instead of someone new. It meant he could slip past with a simple exchange of head nods. It meant that he could proudly stand behind the drive-thru window and watch the clouds roll over the perfect blue sky with the comfort of Cortana right by his side.

It was quiet and peaceful leaning against the cool metal of the drive thru's small attempt at a counter. The cicadas made a peaceful hum in the thick summer air that wafted in through the slight gap in the drive-thru window and the doors flanking the restaurant on each side. Cortana seemed busy enough flitting around the edges of his awareness, presumably checking out the gaggle of equipment and seeing what she could mess with. He could have almost nodded off here. Almost. He could not completely loose vigilance. There was no way little string bean Joshie was going to do much in the way of preventing an intruder. Still, it was a change of pace to feel his mind drift ever so slightly in a tacky burger joint of all places.

The blip of a blue order ticket on the monitor snapped his attention back to the small work station, the grey tile square lined with buckets of condiments and utensils he doubted were of any use for the establishment's usual patronage. 

Odd. A drive-thru order ticket when there had been nothing but silence on his end for the last few minutes. 

McDonald's operated as a well-oiled machine, or at least that's what their business model thrived for. John was the last person to question how the order system worked. He was more than happy to just follow instructions and let the rest sort itself out. Scooping up the grease sodden bag of Big Macs was much easier than arguing with the holed-up manager about ordering system semantics.

Outside of his window approached group of three rather average looking teenagers, fresh from classes based on the book bags lumped in the backseat of their aging white convertible. A scrawny kid riding shotgun held a smartphone level towards the driver and the window. The driver himself wore a wide grin as he slowly eased up to the window. 

"Hey, sweetie. You... you know something. You....you...forgotmyshake," the driver had been speaking although any confidence or volume seemed to evaporate as did the color in his cheeks upon spotting the confused gaze of John standing barely in view of the window frame. 

John glanced down at the receipt stuck to the bag with a sticker claiming that it was sealed for consumer safety with minimal employee contact. 

John gave his best shot at a response, "Sir, there's no shake on this list. Is that something I can add for you today?"

Looking out at his current guest, he noted that the kid in the backseat by the backpacks was barely holding in a fit of laughter with the back of his hand. The cameraman was not doing much better. The driver seemed to be getting red at the ears from either embarrassment or frustration with his team. A prank maybe? He'd seen enough eggs splatted against the windows to know that kids around here had nothing better to do than harass minimum wage workers. He might not get the joke, probably some missed colloquialism from this time period he would have to ask Cortana to fill him in on, but he could at least tell it was not working.

He might as well try to put the dumb kid out of his misery, "It's going to be $13.78, sir. Could you please pay so we can keep the line moving?"

The passenger elbowed the driver with a dopey smile on his face. The driver shook his head before sheepishly putting a few crumpled bills and loose quarters from the cup holder into John's open palm.

The minute the bag was handed over, the driver sped off. 

Well, the customer was taken care of, but that didn't explain the mystery order or why the kid looked like he had seen a ghost when he had seen him.

There was the faintest sound of laughter coming from his headset.

Cortana.

Of course.

He glanced at the clock at the edge of the display monitor. It was a bit too early fir his fifteen, but it wasn't like Josh-whatever his name was had the guts to question him. He wanted to talk, actually talk, to Cortana.

"I'm taking my fifteen," John called out, already approaching the bowels of the kitchen, looking for a storage space with a door he could shut.

The kid was calling after him, surprisingly quick on his feet when given the right motivation, "Sir, sir, your headset. Mister....uhmmm...."

John did not have a last name, and he doubted he would give it out if he stumbled in to one. It served well at moments like these where people weren't sure how to get his attention.

He spotted it, the perfect spot to clear the air: a walk in freezer. Lady Luck at least had a sense of humor.

If the kid was still begging for him to get the flimsy piece of plastic off of his head, he had already tuned it out.

The walk-in freezer door thumped closed.

John couldn't be sure, but he was pretty sure the kid muttered about switching the headsets channel so he could jump over. Perfect. A conversation in private.

Where to even start? Who knows damage had actually been done? He guessed a solid admission was as good as any.

"You went directly to the order speaker and took that party's order when I wasn't paying attention, didn't you?"

"I was made to bypass some of the most complex security systems in the universe. Can you really blame me for doing what I was made to do?"

She had a point. Had he really expected her not to want to explore? As isolated as he had felt being in this new setting, he could only imagine how she felt, stuck at his crumby apartment most of the time and only getting to experience this planet they had both fought to protect second hand. Still, he wasn't quite sure if that justified her little stunt. 

"We aren't supposed to scare away business. That seems counterproductive to the objective here." 

"Those kids were jerks. They were trying to set some unsuspecting employee up to be the butt of their joke. I think they got what they deserved."

He was glad now that she had missed the sweetie comment. Thinking back on it, she really did have a point. He couldn't say he was a fun of such a patronizing term directed towards her. 

"But what if those kids share what happened? What if the wrong people find out about you? "

"Would you want millions of people to see you being humiliated by a man who's build like a tank?"

"It was against protocol." 

"John, do you really think if you stay on the straight and narrow that they will promote you to senior burger flipper?"

There was silence on John's end. Cortana knew him well enough to know that was a yes.

Cortana continued, trying to coax a bit more out of him, "John, do you really think I would encourage you to work here just to meet a sale's goal?"

He hesitated for a moment, letting out a breath that fogged up the air of the freezer before speaking, "Profit does seem to be the reason this organization continues to run."

He did not need to see Cortana to know she was shaking her head at him. 

"I put you here because there is no clear objective working at a place like this. Throughout my research, I have found that people do not often dedicate themselves to one pursuit throughout their lives. Much of purpose here on Earth is derived from a variety of methods all often tying back to creating connections with other people. You have every opportunity to have a life like that now."

"And what about you, Cortana?"

"John, don't you think getting me here to be able to potentially foil your career as master chef is enough?"

John went quiet again. He was very lucky Cortana knew the inner workings of his mind, both figuratively and literally, to know that pause meant no.

"Being able to see how you are acclimating to life away from the pressure of war, how you make Joshua, that kid has a name you know, feel safer or how you enjoy the scent of lemon cleaner but wrinkle your nose at the table disinfectant, that's more than I ever expected to have with you. I knew you were special, but I never could have guessed what life you could give me beyond the circumstances of our creation."

He was pressing his hand against his eye. Of all the times to almost cry, it was going to be Cortana flicking through his memories of work that almost got to him.

John rocked his palm against the hollow of his eye. 

No tears came. 

He exhaled into the chilly air again. 

There was calm and quiet as the chill of the freezer nipped at old wounds. 

"You should get back to work. You have a roof to keep over both of us to consider." 

That was as close to orders as John got these days, and he was more than happy to take it.

Cortana's voice, a cool whisper at the base of his skull, chimed in one more time before he could get to the door, "One last thing before you go out there. Remember to smile. It helps make the sale. I know it worked on me."

John wasn't one to refuse an order. That winning smile, slightly crooked and with a gap right between his two front teeth, is part of why Cortana had picked him. It really was lucky, and who was he to deny a bit of extra luck as he settled back into his new mission.

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first try at writing Cortana, so I hope you were able to bare with me there.
> 
> For context for the shake bit, it's been a bit of a recent drive-thru prank trend. See something like this for reference:   
> https://youtu.be/1BSekOooXGM
> 
> As always, your feedback is appreciated! :)


End file.
